26
Mar
07

Heading Nowhere

We were supposed to talk. You know, people talk to try to make things better, clear things up or make things right… but more than half of the time, I kept my mouth shut. He wanted me to speak, maybe because he was bored or anxious or both, but I can’t. Besides, he already knew what’s bothering me. If not, either he doesn’t know how to read English or he’s not sensitive enough. Obviously, it’s the latter. I often wonder why some men need to be spoonfed when it comes to them knowing what’s going on. Oh well. I just knew that once I opened my mouth, the tears will flow. I had to pinch myself whenever my throat constricts just to prevent myself from crying in front of him and looking like a fool. It hurt. Still does.

The "talk" actually gave him the chance to explain himself and honestly, I’d rather listen, but I didn’t hear much. It was disappointing. I feel like I’m suspended in midair and I don’t know where to go. I hate it.

I took some pics of the place where we "talked". We stayed there for less than an hour but it seemed like forever. I hope he’ll prove me wrong. Maybe we could still fix this, but I have to say, the damage has been done.

P.S.
He was hospitalized last night and had an operation. I hope he’ll be alright. Yes, I still care.




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