:: scribbles ::

(written on February 28, 2009 | 1:43 A.M.)

I took the long way home. It was tiring but I didn’t want to call it day yet. So, I walked. I passed through rowdy crowds, blaring music and tempting leisure activities. I was exploring my options. Still, I went on. I wanted my feet to take me somewhere I haven’t been to before. But since I’m no expert on spontaneity, I just ended up buying a drink to rehydrate. I made a quick plan and entertained my options. It turned out, short notices don’t always work out.

It was midnight. If I were a stranger watching myself at that moment, it would look like I have a destination or purpose in mind. Deep inside, I pitied myself. I found myself walking past strangers with blurred faces. I was not alone, but I felt lonely.

My legs were aching, but I moved on. My mind was racing as well. I was thinking of possibilities that may turn out untrue. I ws thinking of people who may not even spend a minute thinking about me too. Life can be unfair.
Since I wasn’t brave enough to go through dark alleys, I hailed a cab. I was thinking, if I were at the same place in a different time and I had someone to walk through the dark alleys with me, I wouldn’t have minded. But life has to go on. Getting in the cab, I could have gone to anywhere, but I ended up choosing familiar destination.

I’m home as I’m writing this. I’m alone in my room, but I’m feeling a certain comfort. I don’t feel so lonely anymore. I’m calling it a night.