Archive Page 2

01
Mar

The Walk

By karenkristie 4 Comments
Categories: Life and Wishes, Hopes and Dreams

(written on February 28, 2009 | 1:43 A.M.)

I took the long way home. It was tiring but I didn’t want to call it day yet. So, I walked. I passed through rowdy crowds, blaring music and tempting leisure activities. I was exploring my options. Still, I went on. I wanted my feet to take me somewhere I haven’t been to before. But since I’m no expert on spontaneity, I just ended up buying a drink to rehydrate. I made a quick plan and entertained my options. It turned out, short notices don’t always work out.

It was midnight. If I were a stranger watching myself at that moment, it would look like I have a destination or purpose in mind. Deep inside, I pitied myself. I found myself walking past strangers with blurred faces. I was not alone, but I felt lonely.

My legs were aching, but I moved on. My mind was racing as well. I was thinking of possibilities that may turn out untrue. I ws thinking of people who may not even spend a minute thinking about me too. Life can be unfair.
Since I wasn’t brave enough to go through dark alleys, I hailed a cab. I was thinking, if I were at the same place in a different time and I had someone to walk through the dark alleys with me, I wouldn’t have minded. But life has to go on. Getting in the cab, I could have gone to anywhere, but I ended up choosing familiar destination.

I’m home as I’m writing this. I’m alone in my room, but I’m feeling a certain comfort. I don’t feel so lonely anymore. I’m calling it a night.

20
Feb

Not Into Me

By karenkristie 0 Comments
Categories: Film, Life and Love

I just watched that movie “He’s Just Not That Into You”. I have to read the book. I swear! Not only did I really relate to the movie, it made me laugh and cry. It made me swear to myself not to fall in love again, and made me wanna fall in love all over again (think of the song “Buses and Trains” by Bachelor Girl).
Am I the rule or the exception?

16
Feb

25 Random Things

By karenkristie 0 Comments
Categories: Life and Quiz/Survey

I lost count from the tags I received. I am tagging anyone who wants to answer. So, here goes…

1. I’ve always wanted an older brother because I want someone to take care of me and baby me.

2. I do not memorize the multiplication table in English. I studied in a Chinese school until I was 10, so I memorize it in Chinese (Fukien).

3. I still keep the diaries I wrote when I was in grade school.

4. I easily fall in love. (Aww!)

5. I had my first kiss when I was 22.

6. I really cry easily. Even TV advertisements make me cry.

7. I am a visual learner/person.

8. I used to say I want to get married at age 27. Now that I’m 28, I don’t know if I want to get married at all.

9. When I’m quiet, I may be upset, in deep thought, bored, sleepy or just amused.

10. I never practiced my profession.

11. I tend to overanalyze things.

12. I have a feeling I was male in my previous life. (Yes, I believe in reincarnation.)

13. I want to learn how to cook.

14. I want to learn how to swim.

15. I love food but I want to lose weight.

16. My idea of a perfect date is good food, good wine and good conversation by the beach under the stars. =)

17. I wanted to run away from home when I was younger, but I was too much of a coward to do it.

18. I gush when I see old people holding hands (or displaying affection) in public.

19. I am a touchy person to people I’m close with.

20. I’m a hopeless romantic to the point of cheesiness. I’m a sucker for love stories, fairy tales and happy endings.

21. I would like to travel the world before I die (or even after I die).

22. I collect shoes, bags, perfumes, CD’s and books.

23. I’m scared of roller coasters but I’m not scared of heights.

24. I dream in color. I usually dream of running and being chased.

25. When I was young, I wanted to either be a doctor or a marine biologist.

16
Feb

For Friends…

By karenkristie 0 Comments
Categories: Friends

… who turn my frown into a smile
… who listen to my silly stories
… who listen to my even sillier love songs
… who accept me for all my imperfections
… who adjust to my moods
… who understand my predicaments
… who are there when I need them the most
… who remember me even when I’m away
… who give thoughtful gestures
… who take care of me
… who know how to say the right things at the right time
… who fight for friendship and what it represents
… who work hard and play harder
… who are brutally honest
… who value my opinion
… who won’t allow distance or time drift us apart
… who teach me how to love
… who are there when I fall
… who are still there when I get up
… who make life easier
… who make the world a better place
THANK YOU!!!

06
Feb

Universe

By karenkristie 0 Comments
Categories: Friends, Life and Love

And, when you want something,
all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.
~ Paulo Coelho, “The Alchemist” 

I am blaming the Universe for the pretty weird things that happened to me today. It was a choice between the past and the present (or possible future?). I made a choice and I have no regrets. (Note to self: Read private blog.)

I didn’t intend to be in this position. I didn’t force myself to feel this way. Sometimes, life has a cruel way of letting me learn my lessons. I have to quit over-analyzing. I have to stop worrying. I just have to continue being my fabulous self (Hahaha!) and concentrate on work.

I am partly letting go– not of him, but of myself. It’s like being bonded in chains. It’s suffocating. Everyday is a puzzle. He’s the reason but I am to blame. So, I’ll just give him what he wants. If it’s time, he can have it. I am not planning to hang on more than I intend to or want to. I’ll let him enjoy what he needs to enjoy. That’s what he wants. Me? I have to move on… but I will continue to think about him, care for him and possibly even love him… more than he’ll ever know.

03
Feb

Waiting

By karenkristie 0 Comments
Categories: Friends, Life and Love

“Patience is a virtue” or “Time is gold”?

A few days from now, a good friend of mine is leaving for London. A few months from now, another good friend is coming back from the States. People come and go. People pass me by. I have always been here– waiting for things to occur, waiting for life to happen, waiting for time to pass and waiting for my chance to come. I know I should do something, but I always play safe. Do I remain here in my place and let opportunities pass me by?

I have grabbed the chances I can get, but there are certain chances that require great risks. My so-called career is going smoothly. I don’t regret any big decisions I have made. Recently though, I realized that when it comes to romance and matters of the heart, I am scared. I don’t want to end up broken-hearted again. Am I already jaded? Or am I just playing safe?

The thoughts have been killing me. The mystery is eating me day after day. I hate this feeling of not knowing. Should I ask and risk everything or should I wait for the universe to conspire in achieving my heart’s desire? Hahaha! Or maybe, I should just stay the same– crazy ol’ me. Always waiting. Always here.

21
Jan

Starting Anew

By karenkristie 0 Comments
Categories: Friends, Life and Work and Career

Sometimes, things or people aren’t what they seem.

Sometimes, when a door closes, another window opens.

Sometimes, when a chapter ends, another one begins.

Somehow, I can’t help but feel disappointed. I have to blame myself for expecting too much. Life isn’t perfect. People don’t always stay. In as much as I would want to and I would gladly exert all my effort, some things just don’t last. It’s sad.

Good thing, there’s always a diversion. When people come and fade away in life, new faces will appear and offer a smile. New personalities will emerge. Sometimes, they remind you of the old ones who fade away. Sometimes, they’re a welcome change. They won’t replace the old ones. They never will, but it is refreshing. It reminds me of the changes in season. Right now, I am having a cold winter, but I know there will be spring soon.

My horoscope today states:
CANCER
Your more self-nurturing instincts are coming to the forefront today, and while it might send you down an anti-social path for a while, in the end it’s a very good thing to start listening to your own needs right now. Start forgiving yourself for what you may have done, and think about where you want to take things from here — instead of wondering why things don’t always end up being the way you wanted them to be. It’s a time of reflection, but it’s also a time of healing.

Anti-social path, here I come? Nah. Hahaha! Healing it is. =)

14
Jan

All Clear!

By karenkristie 0 Comments
Categories: Uncategorized

I processed my clearance at work today. I felt nostalgic knowing that after more than 3 years, I will not be stepping foot in that office building to work anymore. It was good though because I also felt relieved. I know I won’t be dragging myself to work again. I will be bringing good memories from that place. I am also going to miss the people, no doubt about it. I am grateful that I have known them.

Moving on, I will start with my orientation/induction tomorrow with the new company. I feel excited and anxious at the same time. I will be meeting new people and they will meet me as well. I would have to give it my best shot there. I promise myself that. I am looking forward to it.

The lunar new year is almost here. I have heard that the year of the ox is a good year for those born under the year of the monkey. I feel the same way. For instance, this career move is a risk I am taking and the year just began. I have the whole year to make happy moments. I know I will do well there.

Matters of the heart? Now, that’s a different “matter”. I have already told my friends that I have the feeling love will find me this year. I just don’t know when yet. Maybe soon. I don’t even know if I have known him already or will still meet him in the coming days. I miss the feeling of falling in love again. I miss cuddling and kissing and hugging. I miss romance and sweetness. Don’t get me wrong, I am not complaining about being single. Subtle flirting with whomever I want has its advantages. Hahaha! I just miss having someone to call “mine”. =)

I have time to kill today that’s why I’m blogging again. I am about to open a whole new chapter in my life. Wish me luck!

07
Jan

Four More

By karenkristie 0 Comments
Categories: Life, Wishes, Hopes and Dreams and Work and Career

(This was supposed to be posted yesterday.)

After more than three years, I am finally resigning from the company I am currently working in. This is the longest job I’ve had so far. I have met and known a lot of people along the way. I have, hopefully, made life-long friendships as well. Now, I have four more days before my so-called tenure is over. A part of me is relieved but anxious, another part is sad and lonely. There is no doubt I am going to miss the people, but I can’t wait to get away from the work.

It’s tough when there comes a point in my life where I have to choose. Making a life-changing decision is one of the most difficult things I go through, but then again, it’s a new year and I know I have a lot to look forward to along the way. It is exciting to face the unknown but scary to go out of my comfort zone. Yes, it feels like I’m being torn in two.

I have always believed that happiness is a choice and goodbyes are not forever. This is such a small world and with willingness, there is a way to still connect and communicate.

Four more days! I am going to make the best out of the remaining days. I just know that I will never forget every experience and every memory I have of the people who mean so much to me.

29
Dec

Happy Ending

By karenkristie 0 Comments
Categories: Life

I wish you a story with a happy ending and the wisdom to look for it.
~ “My Sassy Girl”

This is what I get for watching mushy love stories when I’m bored, but this makes sense. A happy ending doesn’t just come and happen. I have to do something in order to get what I want. That’s why I believe in both destiny and free-will.

This year is about to end like all chapters in the book and I have to start a new one. My story, so far, is not as exciting or interesting as I would want it to be. Nevertheless, it is full of significant events and roller-coaster emotions. I am grateful for this year. I have learned a lot from my mistakes and experiences. I have also learned to treasure the people who love and care for me. This year also introduced me to new-found friends whom I know I will always remember.

I am looking forward to next year. I just have the feeling that I can finally start on working to get the happy ending that I wanted.

Happy New Year, everyone! =)

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